One moms journey through life wondering "am I doing this right?"

Monday, January 23, 2012

Reality Check

I love to browse through posts that my  fellow bloggers write. Most are so poetic and so captivating. I read this one last night and it hit me hard. I have been following Susan's blog here and there. Wow I always think to myself. She is unbelievable. Please read this post first or else my post has no real meaning.
Susan post.

What is life really about ? Love, Hope.....Family for me. Happiness with family. Precious times.
I have to remind myself often how lucky I am to have them. I can't imagine life without my husband or daughter ( and of course my entire immediate family).
So I am going to try and remember this when I can't get Angelina to potty or when she is up in the middle of the night or when I look at her and want to cry from fear and pain to what the future holds.
I have this precious, beautiful life with her now. She is amazing and makes me laugh everyday. Nothing is so hard to handle that I should forget the love she brings to my heart. No nothing.
My life isn't perfect and yes, stressful many days but it's a life filled with love.  Living with a life filled with love. That's a great thing.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Too much thinking.

I often think too much. Way too much. I analyze everything. My husband tells me to stop. How? This is how I am made.

Having an autistic child who is nearly nonverbal doesn't help. I am always thinking.." what is she thinking?"  It can drive me crazy at times. I try to stop but can't turn it off.

I read an article today about a mother and her severely autistic boys. It made me start thinking about defining severe autism. I always assumed severe meant a nonverbal child who sits alone and rocks with no interaction with the outside world. Am I wrong?  This particular mother had children who spoke few words, had sensory issues, behavioral issues, digestive issues, sleep issues. My Angelina has some if not all those issues. That scares me. What does it change though? Isn't it just another label...severely autistic?
Too much to think about.

I do know for sure...Angelina is severely adorable, funny, happy and most important, severely loved!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

NAET Therapy

Too tired ( last night was NOT the 4th straight night Angelina slept all night) to get into how much I love NAET and what its all about. But please read all about it under my links. Its worth it.
I am taking Angelina for a session now.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Sleepng Beauty

Angelina has slept a full night for the last three nights. Yes!!!
It might sound like no big defeat for you but for our house its big news.
You see Angelina has NEVER been a "good sleeper". Since she was a young infant she has been waking up during the night and usually cant get herself back to sleep.I am told its a typical issue with Autistic children. Wow...its a nightmare for us. I feel like a zombie most days. Before I became a SAHM I use to go to work as this zombie. I don't know how I functioned. Probably not well because I had to stop working.
We deal with it. I usually let my husband sleep since he does have to go into the office everyday. I get up with Angelina and do my best to try and get her sleepy again. That is usually a futile effort. She is so wired when she gets up nothing helps. You would think it was the middle of the afternoon. Yes, we have tried many many different approaches to help....down time at night, melatonin, change the lighting,...nothing helps. We have been through long phases of this sleep deprivation and then we'll go through a phase where Angelina will sleep for months.
Today I am hoping the latter will come true.  I have my fingers crossed.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Happy SAHM.....(I think).

My name is Tina. I have been a SAHM for about a year and a half now. My daughter, Angelina was diagnosed with Autism three years ago and so my world quickly changed.
Yep...my career as a Financial Executive in the big city suddenly seemed like climbing Mount Everest...and I was losing the uphill battle.
So now my days are filled with cleaning, doing errands, taking Angelina to therapies, researching the Autism world for help.

Is this how life was intended to be for me????